Holy mother of God, rub your eyes fella, it is really happening. By some magical twist of theatrical fate, Superintendent Ted Hastings is standing before us in doublet and britches, hand on heart, singing a love song.
'Thine arms so warm, so tender, were thine the kiss divine, were thine the love for me,' he throbs away in his pungent tenor, striding across the stage of London's Barbican Theatre in a pair of — checks notes, screams — thigh-high boots.
Forsooth, yes. Line Of Duty's Adrian Dunbar is starring in a revival of Kiss Me, Kate, the Cole Porter classic which was first performed in 1948 and has been charming audiences ever since.
This is the 65-year-old's first ever stage musical — a bold and brave undertaking, even if he co-wrote and starred in the 1991 Bafta-nominated musical film Hear My Song, has sung and played in many bands over the years, was once an Elvis impersonator and currently plays Ridley, ITV's not-entirely-convincing jazz club-owning, singing detective, which has just been confirmed for a second season.
Adrian Dunbar with Stephanie J Block in Kiss Me, Kate
Adrian Dunbar (pictured) as Ted Hastings in BBC's police drama Line of Duty
And this is no token guest appearance. In Kiss Me, Kate the former gaffer of AC-12 is sucking diesel on four big solo numbers and a couple of duets, plus an ensemble here and there. The Enniskillen-born actor plays the lead; the central double role of Fred Graham/Petruchio in this play within a play. The conceit is that Fred's touring theatrical company are putting on a production of Shakespeare's The Taming Of The Shrew.
Opposite Fred's Petruchio is his ex-wife Lilli as Kate, played here by Broadway star Stephanie J Block. The big question at the heart of the drama is this — are Fred and Lilli still in love?
Cue Lilli in her nightie singing the smoky Cole Porter classic So In Love. 'So taunt me, and hurt me, deceive me, desert me, I'm yours, till I die, so in love with you am I,' she sings — and many of us in the audience feel exactly the same way about our darling Super Ted.
D evoted Tedists like me have pored over Line Of Duty episodes for years, thrilled to our corsets as Ted storms about police HQ in an authoritarian fury, bristling in his polycotton shirt, security lanyard and regulation-issue navy blouson. As we all know, there was only one thing he was ever interested in — catching bent coppers.
Here he is more focused on catching a break between the quick costume changes — from silk dressing gown to knickerbockers and back again. Then it's straight into another song. 'So kiss me, Kate, darling devil divine. For now thou shalt ever be mine,' he bellows at the end of the first act, absolutely daring his wife not to obey him to the letter of the law sir, the letter.
It is wrong — so very, very wrong of me — to conflate Dunbar's roles as triple-threat Ted with lounge lizard Fred. Yet somehow it is also irresistible. From my seat in the stalls, I am trying to be serious, of course I am.
Adrian Dunbar in a scene from the BBC police drama series 'Line of Duty'
As a token of my sincerity and gravitas towards this production, I am not even wearing my police hat during the performance. Nor do I stand up and shout, 'now we're cooking with gas', when Ted/Fred smooches with Lilli and sings a song called Wunderbar. 'What a perfect night for love,' he insists, twinkling about in his boots.
Yet it is not just me. A sense of copper-plated mischief ripples through the audience in the packed theatre. Dunbar gets a huge roar of welcome when he firsts walks onstage. And when a wee donkey appears in a crowd scene in Padua, it nearly brings the house down.
And I know what you, Jesus, Mary and Joseph are all thinking. Can Adrian Dunbar actually sing? Well, houl yer wheesht, disbelievers. On Tuesday's first night preview, his voice was occasionally uncertain in the diminuendo passages but in the crescendo, he roars like a big Irish lion. Dunbar would perhaps be the first to admit that he is no Howard Keel — but he is no Pierce Brosnan either and acquits himself here with no little grace and style. Of course there have been problems. From the Shakespeare original to the celebrated Cole Porter remake, there have always been claims that Kiss Me, Kate is troublingly misogynistic. With a 'shrew' for a central character who must be 'tamed' by her husband — traditionally with a good spanking — how could it not be?
And that's before we get started on the more mature male characters who have an unhealthy interest in the younger showgirls. 'Too young? Just not old enough,' as one old goat surmises in a scene.
In an interview last week, Dunbar said this new production would 'mitigate the misogyny' inherent in the piece, and he has kept true to his world. For example, his Petruchio doesn't actually spank Kate onstage, he only bends her over his knee and threatens to spank. That's progress! 'Spank threat neutralised,' as Detective Inspector Kate Fleming might whisper into her walkie-talkie, were she a part of this show, which of course she is not.
Adrian Dunbar is starring in a revival of Kiss Me, Kate, the Cole Porter classic which was first performed in 1948
Yet only a curmudgeon could object to the outdated mores of another age being blurred into in such a sparkling, funny and beloved musical, drenched with irresistible Cole Porter songs and melodies. In fact, Kiss Me, Kate is so adored by theatre audiences that it is revived about once every ten years in the West End. In the 2001 revival, Broadway stars Brent Barrett and Marin Mazzie were imported fresh from New York to lead the cast. The 2012 version was directed by Trevor Nunn and featured a typically dazzling turn from Hannah Waddingham as Lilli. In 2015, an Opera North production was so popular it toured around the country for three years.
And now here we are again, we open in Venice, we next play Verona, then on to Cremona te tum te dum te tiddly tum. There are another two weeks until Kiss Me, Kate officially opens and the critics have their say, but for what it's worth, I have rarely been in a theatre where a joyous audience loved the show so much.
There was applause after every number, a standing ovation at the end and screams at the stage door after the curtain came down.
That's not all because of Adrian Dunbar, for this revival is a standalone triumph, beautifully staged and blessed with a crack cast.
This includes former Doctor Who Peter Davison as General Harrison Howell, Lilli's fiancé and Fred's main love rival.
'But I don't even get to sing a song. They stopped me singing at all. I don't know if that is a bad sign,' Davison told the Radio Times recently.
That Adrian Dunbar. He didn't float up the Lagan in a bubble.
